Wednesday, February 16, 2011

...Turnaround...

Apologies to Bonnie Tyler, for I can almost guarantee that she did not write her song with a box of chocolates in mind.  But let me continue...

One of my dear roommates was given a large box of chocolates as a "Thank You" gift for participating in a wedding.  The box is as large as 6 cartons of eggs stacked on top of each other in rows of two and was filled to the brim with little single-size chocolate bars.  You know, the kind that people often give out at Halloween.  I write in the past tense because my roommate, being the generous man he is, placed the box on our "Share Shelf" in the kitchen.  I, being the glutton I am, helped myself to 5 pieces the first day, and 10, the second. It is no longer filled to the brim.

It's embarrassing to write that. 

I do not need that chocolate.  I do not even truly want that chocolate.  What I want is a distraction from the mounting stress.  And food is my go-to distraction.  I enjoy it, at least for a while until I realize I've consumed  the daily caloric needs of a regularly-sized woman within the first 6 hours of the day and wasted precious hours walking from the computer to the kitchen to the computer to the kitchen.  And then the reality of what I've done begins to settle as heavily as the consumed food.  Eater's Remorse is as strong as Buyer's Remorse.  But today is a new day, and the refrain from "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is repeating itself in my mind, beckoning me to "turnaround" when I near that damn box and go sit down to work.  I'm going to listen to Bonnie this time. 

Today, I choose to give myself what I need:  focused time reading philosophy, quiet moments for resting (aka, knitting!) and mindful food consumption.  What are you going to give yourself today?

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