Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Checking In

Things have gotten busy - really busy as of late.  Typically, this time of the quarter is centered upon finals week and finishing major papers without losing my sanity (or husband or son).  But this past month has brought with it two new housemates for our own home (well, four, if you count children, which I'm going to) as well as a huge R&R project for the back house of our rental property in downtown Los Angeles (and not the "Rest & Relaxation" kind, either!)

I'm learning (perhaps re-learning) things about myself in the process of all the repairs and renovations - and my husband.  For one, we manage projects very differently.  Two, we both struggle with the fear of making a wrong decision.  The stress that results from having to agree together (or relinquish control) has not been pleasant, but I'm happy to say that after two full weeks of a great deal of bickering and frustration with each other, we're finding our stride.  Still, I cannot wait until this is all over and we are ready to invite new tenants in.

Our new housemates have brought quite a bit of diversity to our own home (the apartment we reside in).  For the most part, our previous roommates have all been highly educated, working or in school, fairly moderate or progressive politically and theologically, and, well, ...white.  Our new housemates are different in almost every way.  It has been interesting (read:  enjoyable) so far although I suppose only time will tell how our differences will play out in the daily interactions we have.

I have been proud of myself for maintaining some level of commitment to my physical health in the midst of the incredibly long days we're working.  I've been to the gym more often than not and caught "forty winks" myself, during our son's nap time.

My food intake, however, has fluctuated between the extremes of moderate, healthy eating, and consuming lots and lots of shit (read:  Red #40, sugar, fat, and a whole host of preservatives and chemicals I normally try to avoid).  I've been pondering about the possibility of calling myself a "compulsive" eater.  In times past, I would never have admitted to anything of the sort, but lately, my obsession with obtaining and eating food has been obvious, even to me.  I'm not really sure what to do with these thoughts.  I've thought about going to OA.  I've considered just meeting with a few others I know and love.  I've mostly not done anything.  I know that's not where I want to stay, and to be honest, I don't believe I will.  But this remains a most mysterious and daunting area for me.

Spiritually/Philosophically, I'm in the same place.  How on earth did we come to be?  This universe is so magnificent, so outstanding that I cannot seem to believe that all that I see (it's actualization and potential) is the result of chance.  And yet, the very concept of God seem so outrageous, the belief that a Divine Being has created and is maintaining a world S/He will preserve until the end of time seems much more like fantasy than reality.  Or a really, cool video game where all the good guys beat the bad guys and get the ultimate prize of eternal life in bliss.  So, I can't seem to believe, and I can't not believe.  And of course, I'm still moved to the core about the violence, suffering, and evil in this world. Anyone have any good books on the topic?

In other news, the Occupy camp in downtown LA has been forced out.  That makes me disappointed.  (But we've finally decided to "Move Our Money" to a local credit union (TBD).  All of our retirement and investment accounts were already outside of the Big Banks (mostly in micro-investments through Calvert Foundation, some in CA state bonds), but our checking accounts were/are still in Bank of America.  Soon to be not, thanks to the strong testimony (and urging) of one of our community members in Urban Village of Pasadena).

Our winter garden is surviving - although I've seen birds pecking at my spinach leaves and have a strong suspicion they are "what happened" to all of our carrot tops, the first bed of spinach we planted, and a great deal of our beet shoots.  I must take the advice to cover our newly sprouted plants with bird netting next time - the devastation they cause is heart-breaking!  Still, the broccoli is coming along, as is the cilantro, and I can determine at least one strong garlic plant.

I've also expanded my knitting abilities and am trying a new cowl for my 3-year-old niece.  I'm getting very excited about its completion and deciding what to knit next.

But, I have an exegetical paper due on Monday, and so off to the library I go.  

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