I am thankful to be part of an intentional community (Urban Village of Pasadena), which, possessing varying points of view, extends authentic love to the marginalized, oppressed, and painfully mistreated gay community.
I am thankful to be a member of Pasadena Mennonite Church, which, possessing varying points of view is committed to extending (and beginning to embody) authentic love to the marginalized, oppressed, and painfully mistreated gay community.
I had always mourned the reality that the graduate school I chose to attend did not...or...at least not so openly.
And yet, I recently read two articles in Fuller Seminary's student newspaper that caught my attention.
Reflections of a Gay Christian by Jennifer Lingenfelter
and
Reflections of a Father by Sherwood Lingenfelter
I doubt that Fuller will change its position on homosexuality anytime soon. But articles like these increase my hope. And my hope that they too, will find bold ways of offering acceptance, inclusion and love to their gay students and those to come.
Showing posts with label love and marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love and marriage. Show all posts
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Checking In
Things have gotten busy - really busy as of late. Typically, this time of the quarter is centered upon finals week and finishing major papers without losing my sanity (or husband or son). But this past month has brought with it two new housemates for our own home (well, four, if you count children, which I'm going to) as well as a huge R&R project for the back house of our rental property in downtown Los Angeles (and not the "Rest & Relaxation" kind, either!)
I'm learning (perhaps re-learning) things about myself in the process of all the repairs and renovations - and my husband. For one, we manage projects very differently. Two, we both struggle with the fear of making a wrong decision. The stress that results from having to agree together (or relinquish control) has not been pleasant, but I'm happy to say that after two full weeks of a great deal of bickering and frustration with each other, we're finding our stride. Still, I cannot wait until this is all over and we are ready to invite new tenants in.
Our new housemates have brought quite a bit of diversity to our own home (the apartment we reside in). For the most part, our previous roommates have all been highly educated, working or in school, fairly moderate or progressive politically and theologically, and, well, ...white. Our new housemates are different in almost every way. It has been interesting (read: enjoyable) so far although I suppose only time will tell how our differences will play out in the daily interactions we have.
I have been proud of myself for maintaining some level of commitment to my physical health in the midst of the incredibly long days we're working. I've been to the gym more often than not and caught "forty winks" myself, during our son's nap time.
My food intake, however, has fluctuated between the extremes of moderate, healthy eating, and consuming lots and lots of shit (read: Red #40, sugar, fat, and a whole host of preservatives and chemicals I normally try to avoid). I've been pondering about the possibility of calling myself a "compulsive" eater. In times past, I would never have admitted to anything of the sort, but lately, my obsession with obtaining and eating food has been obvious, even to me. I'm not really sure what to do with these thoughts. I've thought about going to OA. I've considered just meeting with a few others I know and love. I've mostly not done anything. I know that's not where I want to stay, and to be honest, I don't believe I will. But this remains a most mysterious and daunting area for me.
Spiritually/Philosophically, I'm in the same place. How on earth did we come to be? This universe is so magnificent, so outstanding that I cannot seem to believe that all that I see (it's actualization and potential) is the result of chance. And yet, the very concept of God seem so outrageous, the belief that a Divine Being has created and is maintaining a world S/He will preserve until the end of time seems much more like fantasy than reality. Or a really, cool video game where all the good guys beat the bad guys and get the ultimate prize of eternal life in bliss. So, I can't seem to believe, and I can't not believe. And of course, I'm still moved to the core about the violence, suffering, and evil in this world. Anyone have any good books on the topic?
In other news, the Occupy camp in downtown LA has been forced out. That makes me disappointed. (But we've finally decided to "Move Our Money" to a local credit union (TBD). All of our retirement and investment accounts were already outside of the Big Banks (mostly in micro-investments through Calvert Foundation, some in CA state bonds), but our checking accounts were/are still in Bank of America. Soon to be not, thanks to the strong testimony (and urging) of one of our community members in Urban Village of Pasadena).
Our winter garden is surviving - although I've seen birds pecking at my spinach leaves and have a strong suspicion they are "what happened" to all of our carrot tops, the first bed of spinach we planted, and a great deal of our beet shoots. I must take the advice to cover our newly sprouted plants with bird netting next time - the devastation they cause is heart-breaking! Still, the broccoli is coming along, as is the cilantro, and I can determine at least one strong garlic plant.
I've also expanded my knitting abilities and am trying a new cowl for my 3-year-old niece. I'm getting very excited about its completion and deciding what to knit next.
But, I have an exegetical paper due on Monday, and so off to the library I go.
I'm learning (perhaps re-learning) things about myself in the process of all the repairs and renovations - and my husband. For one, we manage projects very differently. Two, we both struggle with the fear of making a wrong decision. The stress that results from having to agree together (or relinquish control) has not been pleasant, but I'm happy to say that after two full weeks of a great deal of bickering and frustration with each other, we're finding our stride. Still, I cannot wait until this is all over and we are ready to invite new tenants in.
Our new housemates have brought quite a bit of diversity to our own home (the apartment we reside in). For the most part, our previous roommates have all been highly educated, working or in school, fairly moderate or progressive politically and theologically, and, well, ...white. Our new housemates are different in almost every way. It has been interesting (read: enjoyable) so far although I suppose only time will tell how our differences will play out in the daily interactions we have.
I have been proud of myself for maintaining some level of commitment to my physical health in the midst of the incredibly long days we're working. I've been to the gym more often than not and caught "forty winks" myself, during our son's nap time.
My food intake, however, has fluctuated between the extremes of moderate, healthy eating, and consuming lots and lots of shit (read: Red #40, sugar, fat, and a whole host of preservatives and chemicals I normally try to avoid). I've been pondering about the possibility of calling myself a "compulsive" eater. In times past, I would never have admitted to anything of the sort, but lately, my obsession with obtaining and eating food has been obvious, even to me. I'm not really sure what to do with these thoughts. I've thought about going to OA. I've considered just meeting with a few others I know and love. I've mostly not done anything. I know that's not where I want to stay, and to be honest, I don't believe I will. But this remains a most mysterious and daunting area for me.
Spiritually/Philosophically, I'm in the same place. How on earth did we come to be? This universe is so magnificent, so outstanding that I cannot seem to believe that all that I see (it's actualization and potential) is the result of chance. And yet, the very concept of God seem so outrageous, the belief that a Divine Being has created and is maintaining a world S/He will preserve until the end of time seems much more like fantasy than reality. Or a really, cool video game where all the good guys beat the bad guys and get the ultimate prize of eternal life in bliss. So, I can't seem to believe, and I can't not believe. And of course, I'm still moved to the core about the violence, suffering, and evil in this world. Anyone have any good books on the topic?
In other news, the Occupy camp in downtown LA has been forced out. That makes me disappointed. (But we've finally decided to "Move Our Money" to a local credit union (TBD). All of our retirement and investment accounts were already outside of the Big Banks (mostly in micro-investments through Calvert Foundation, some in CA state bonds), but our checking accounts were/are still in Bank of America. Soon to be not, thanks to the strong testimony (and urging) of one of our community members in Urban Village of Pasadena).
Our winter garden is surviving - although I've seen birds pecking at my spinach leaves and have a strong suspicion they are "what happened" to all of our carrot tops, the first bed of spinach we planted, and a great deal of our beet shoots. I must take the advice to cover our newly sprouted plants with bird netting next time - the devastation they cause is heart-breaking! Still, the broccoli is coming along, as is the cilantro, and I can determine at least one strong garlic plant.
I've also expanded my knitting abilities and am trying a new cowl for my 3-year-old niece. I'm getting very excited about its completion and deciding what to knit next.
But, I have an exegetical paper due on Monday, and so off to the library I go.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Joining the Revolution
Have you ever desired to spend more time at home? To be debt free? To be less tied to the extractive economy? To have more time for family, for friends, for living?
Have you ever thought there was no way you could never possibly do that?
Think again.
How much money do you think you really need to survive? In reality, there will be a magic number that is different for each person/couple/family, but I have a feeling it is a lot less than what most people conclude.
My husband and I live off of $12,000 per year in one of the most expensive cities to live in: Pasadena, CA.
How is that possible you say?
Well:
1. We live in a city where bikes, feet, and public transportation are plentiful and cars are not a need. (We do not own a car, but own two bikes).
2. We have two roommates who share living space, thus making rent in an increasingly expensive city, much more affordable (Our share is $525/month).
3. We know how to cook, scavenge, and look for food. Cooking helps us eat well, healthy, and cheaply. We have also dumpster dived when desiring that thrill, and visited food banks to help offset the cost of eating. (We spend an average of $50 per week on food).
4. We do not own cell phones, and granted, at times it is less convenient but saves a fair amount of money.
5. We do not pay for internet access. We go to the library, the local coffee shop, our local school, or mooch off of something unsecured.
6. We utilize low-cost health care options. I.e. My husband and I both had our teeth deep cleaned at our local community college by students in training. While it took longer, it was very inexpensive ($20/person).
7. We do not have health insurance, home insurance, renter's insurance or any insurance. This is the risk I think most people are not willing to take saying "What if you got cancer?" "What if you got in an accident while riding your bike?" "What if...?" My husband continues to challenge me not to let fear be driving force in my life - and I would challenge others to do the same. That being said, we do have a substantial nest egg we could use if something came up. Sure - it would wipe us out - but what is money, eh? (Some day I'd like to write a blog on the corruption of our health insurance system - and the moral reasons for not participating in it -but that is for another day).
8. We are debt free.
9. We buy most items second-hand and try to make others.
10. We are learning the art of bartering. (I.e. exchanging one service/item for another).
In a recent conversation with a friend who was trying to find more ways to save money, my husband suggested she reduce her gas expenditures and take public transportation. She responded with the usual: "But I don't have time!" My husband replied: "Well, it's either time or money - what's more important to you?"
I choose time. (And by the way, the bus doesn't really take that much more time than a car - especially in Los Angeles).
Have you ever thought there was no way you could never possibly do that?
Think again.
How much money do you think you really need to survive? In reality, there will be a magic number that is different for each person/couple/family, but I have a feeling it is a lot less than what most people conclude.
My husband and I live off of $12,000 per year in one of the most expensive cities to live in: Pasadena, CA.
How is that possible you say?
Well:
1. We live in a city where bikes, feet, and public transportation are plentiful and cars are not a need. (We do not own a car, but own two bikes).
2. We have two roommates who share living space, thus making rent in an increasingly expensive city, much more affordable (Our share is $525/month).
3. We know how to cook, scavenge, and look for food. Cooking helps us eat well, healthy, and cheaply. We have also dumpster dived when desiring that thrill, and visited food banks to help offset the cost of eating. (We spend an average of $50 per week on food).
4. We do not own cell phones, and granted, at times it is less convenient but saves a fair amount of money.
5. We do not pay for internet access. We go to the library, the local coffee shop, our local school, or mooch off of something unsecured.
6. We utilize low-cost health care options. I.e. My husband and I both had our teeth deep cleaned at our local community college by students in training. While it took longer, it was very inexpensive ($20/person).
7. We do not have health insurance, home insurance, renter's insurance or any insurance. This is the risk I think most people are not willing to take saying "What if you got cancer?" "What if you got in an accident while riding your bike?" "What if...?" My husband continues to challenge me not to let fear be driving force in my life - and I would challenge others to do the same. That being said, we do have a substantial nest egg we could use if something came up. Sure - it would wipe us out - but what is money, eh? (Some day I'd like to write a blog on the corruption of our health insurance system - and the moral reasons for not participating in it -but that is for another day).
8. We are debt free.
9. We buy most items second-hand and try to make others.
10. We are learning the art of bartering. (I.e. exchanging one service/item for another).
In a recent conversation with a friend who was trying to find more ways to save money, my husband suggested she reduce her gas expenditures and take public transportation. She responded with the usual: "But I don't have time!" My husband replied: "Well, it's either time or money - what's more important to you?"
I choose time. (And by the way, the bus doesn't really take that much more time than a car - especially in Los Angeles).
Friday, October 14, 2011
Wealth
What is "wealth" to you?
To me, it is being home with lots of free time to play with our son. It is waking up without the need to hurry and rush. It is taking a leisurely lunch with the option of a nap after. It is having enough flexibility to go on a vacation at the drop of a hat. It is being able to spend the best hours of my day with my husband at my side. It is living with less stress, less demands, less worry about how I'm going to find enough time to hang out with my friend, my son, my husband, myself. It is having enough time to know neighbors, to volunteer for that which is important, to notice the small things. It is being able to produce what we can, and buy what we need. It is eating healthy food and breathing clean air. It is being loved by friends.
It doesn't necessarily mean having a large bankroll.
I have felt the wealth of a large bankroll. It was nice - mostly because I could buy whatever trendy thing I wanted and give large amounts to organizations I liked. But my life was busy and I got to the point where I longed to be compensated with time vs. overtime pay (which is what my previous place of employment had offered me). I didn't need the extra money. I didn't even want it. But I needed the time. And I really wanted it.
I knew a man who once revealed to me that his goal in life was to "break even", meaning, he wanted to work just enough hours to provide for what he needed and nothing more. The rest of the time he wanted to play and read and study and do whatever fancied him. I remember praising his decision in my head and deciding that one day, I would emulate him.
Now that my husband is at home I am tasting that freedom and it tastes better than I dreamed.
I wish more people could experience the life I'm living right now. I wish more people wanted it. I think it would do wonders for people's physical and mental health. It would do wonders for the world.
But it requires a re-evaluation of what one truly "needs". It requires making sacrifices and doing without things our society convinces us we need to live. It requires telling fear to go F-off.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Becoming Radical Homemakers
I woke up physically sore from digging a new garden bed yesterday. Our soil is really poor quality and so compact that we needed to use a pickax the entire two feet down. Pickax's are heavy and my upper body is not used to heaving and hoing like that.
Radical homemaking, urban homesteading, sustainable living: whatever term you prefer... it is all exhausting in the end. I think I put in more hours now than when I was working full time at Fuller. But the work is meaningful and rewarding. A few days ago I finally realized that our home was truly a unit of production. We cook, garden, repair and reuse, research, create, barter and have begun to preserve a small amount of food. It feels really good to lessen our ties to the extractive economy. Really good.
It also is incredible to have my husband as a partner in all of this. Did I tell you, blog readers, that three months ago he, too, quit his full-time job? There were many reasons behind his decision to quit; all of them were noble (and if I could share them with you I'm certain you would agree but you will just have to take my word for it). I joke with him that he has "retired" at 36 years old and quickly put him to work, since I am the head of the home. (That of course, is a joke. We both aim to share responsibility and leadership in the home - it's just that some of us are better at it than others). :)
It might be surprising to some that there are persons willing to give up full-time jobs with great benefits and a salary that is more than enough for our needs but we have never been ones to operate within society's norms entirely. (To be fair, the decision was a lot easier to make because my husband has a rental property in Los Angeles that gives us $1000 per month for our use). Both my husband and I desire to create a life together that uses little and is rich in love, relationships, and meaning. We have both found that money and buying stuff doesn't really contribute to that goal as much as we'd like. And so we've chosen to make good on our words and begin to focus on the things that make life worth living.
It's been three months since we've met this task head on and the result is even better than I expected. It's not all peaches and cream, this is certain, but I can count on one hand the number of times I wished one of us was back at work, receiving a more substantial income. I could not count on one hundred hands the number of times I felt thankful that we made this decision.
Radical homemaking, urban homesteading, sustainable living: whatever term you prefer... it is all exhausting in the end. I think I put in more hours now than when I was working full time at Fuller. But the work is meaningful and rewarding. A few days ago I finally realized that our home was truly a unit of production. We cook, garden, repair and reuse, research, create, barter and have begun to preserve a small amount of food. It feels really good to lessen our ties to the extractive economy. Really good.
It also is incredible to have my husband as a partner in all of this. Did I tell you, blog readers, that three months ago he, too, quit his full-time job? There were many reasons behind his decision to quit; all of them were noble (and if I could share them with you I'm certain you would agree but you will just have to take my word for it). I joke with him that he has "retired" at 36 years old and quickly put him to work, since I am the head of the home. (That of course, is a joke. We both aim to share responsibility and leadership in the home - it's just that some of us are better at it than others). :)
It might be surprising to some that there are persons willing to give up full-time jobs with great benefits and a salary that is more than enough for our needs but we have never been ones to operate within society's norms entirely. (To be fair, the decision was a lot easier to make because my husband has a rental property in Los Angeles that gives us $1000 per month for our use). Both my husband and I desire to create a life together that uses little and is rich in love, relationships, and meaning. We have both found that money and buying stuff doesn't really contribute to that goal as much as we'd like. And so we've chosen to make good on our words and begin to focus on the things that make life worth living.
It's been three months since we've met this task head on and the result is even better than I expected. It's not all peaches and cream, this is certain, but I can count on one hand the number of times I wished one of us was back at work, receiving a more substantial income. I could not count on one hundred hands the number of times I felt thankful that we made this decision.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Vindication
My husband just resolved a dispute between us by asking a Magic 8 Ball online. It favored me - so even though I think it was absolutely ridiculous and utter madness to even consider doing that - I'm glad it told the truth. :)
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